Mark 10:2-12

Saint Francis of Assisi is not celebrated this year.) Giovanni di Bernardone (1181-1226), was nicknamed Francesco (“the Frenchman”) by his father Pietro, as his mother was French. As a young man Francesco lived the life of a troubador and planned to fight for Assisi as a soldier. But in 1204 he had a vision that redirected his life; on a pilgrimage to Rome, he joined some poor people begging at Saint Peter’s Basilica and resolved from then on to live in poverty and simplicity in the service of Christ and the Church. He began preaching in the streets, and soon gathered an Order, later called Franciscans, that followed this evangelical lifestyle. With Saint Clare of Assisi he also founded the Poor Clares, an enclosed religious order for women, as well as a confraternity, the Third Order, for laypeople. In 1219, he tried to convert the Sultan to put an end to the Crusades. Once his Order was authorized by the Pope, he withdrew from external affairs to a life of austerity and prayer. In 1224, he received the stigmata, and bore in his body the wounds of Christ’s Passion. He is patron saint of animals, of peace and of the environment, and is one of the two patrons of Italy.

1st Reading: Genesis 2:18-24

God intends man and woman to become one flesh.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.”

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.

2nd Reading: Epistle to the Hebrews 2:9-11

Jesus became fully our brother and a saviour for all.

We see Jesus, who for a little while was made lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. It was fitting that God, for whom and through whom all things exist, in bringing many children to glory, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For the one who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. For this reason Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.

Gospel: Mark 10:2-16 or, shorter version: Mark 10:2-12

“What God has joined together” and receiving the kingdom of God as a little child.

Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery too.”

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

Life Together

There is a widely-felt attitude today that would dismiss today’s gospel as something not applicable to our times. It is important to distinguish between what is actually God’s law, and how that law is applied. The preaching of marital fidely in the past was sometimes insensitively done. The truth is, not all marriages work out. Of course, people make mistakes, and some people may not have what it takes to live in a lifelong relationship. Nobody marries with the intention that it will not work. A wedding is for a day, but marriage is for a lifetime.

On their wedding day, a couple set out on a journey, which will lead them into love. They may imagine that they love each other now, but that is not love. It is infatuation, which is important at this stage of their relationship. The word comes from the Latin ignus fatuous, which, literally means a false fire! It won’t last. It is based on feelings, and feelings, while being good, are uncontrollable. Love is a decision, not a feeling. While I cannot control a feeling, I can renew a decision each and every day. As a matter of fact, living today on the decision of today is the secret of keeping a marriage alive.

For a marriage to succeed requires a constant effort of goodwill. A couple must try to grow together in a relationship that is dynamic, never static. Some would say that if it is not moving forward, it is surely going backwards. Most people don’t notice this decline in a relationship until they have gone back too far. Living in love with another means dying to self in thousands of little ways, because it’s a kind of laying down a life for one’s friend. In a sense it is only by dying to self that we are capable of giving life to others. Then, in turn, because of that, we receive Christ’s promise of life.

Keeping marriage alive

While modern society makes us tolerant of divorce following marital breakdown, in today’s Gospel Christ invites us to reflect on the ideal of permanence of marriage and on the dignity of lifelong commitment. His words on the indissolubility of marriage set a difficult ideal for our times, so much are we influenced by a libertarian ideology that prizes personal fulfilment above all else.

Marriage is built upon basic, life-giving human instincts and can survive even in a time of radical social change. Families who have kept fidelity over the years demonstrate that love can weather the storms which even the best of relationships cannot always avoid. But the instability of family life today, and the large number of marital separations, needs to be prayed about. At the same time, as pope Francis has said so warmly, our Church must show due regard for people who are in new unions after their first has broken up, for whatever reason. It is not enough just to propose an ideal of marriage based on fidelity; the problems of tense marriage relationships are not solved by constant preaching, no matter how well-meant. Conscious of this, the Church has agencies to help couples to prepare for marriage, and later help them cope with the conflicts that threaten their perseverance. (Examples of the kind of marriage-counselling available locally could feature in today’s homily.)

There are various common reasons for the failure of a marriage. It can be that people who were not emotionally mature at the time they married, nor fully free in giving their marriage consent. People who were never made aware of the deeper, spiritual meaning of marriage, can later discover that their marriage was an unfortunate mistake.. In helping to prepare young couples for marriage, in fostering their growth in married love and even in declaring certain marriages null and void, those involved must try to combine their ideal of marriage with an appreciation of love between the sexes and with understanding and compassion for those who find difficulty in living up to the challenges of Christian marriage today.